Episode at a glance:

[02:12] The Fundamental Difference Between Memoir and Fiction

The Contract With Your Reader
When you write fiction, the contract is, “I’m going to tell you a compelling story. It’s made up, but it will feel true to human experience.”

When you write memoir, the contract is, “I’m going to tell you a true story about something that really happened to me. I’m shaping it into narrative, but the essential facts are real.”

This contract matters because it shapes what readers expect and what will break their trust.

[04:24] Reconstructing Dialogue

What happens when you can’t remember exactly what was said?

Dialogue is never a transcription of real conversation. In fiction, you invent dialogue that sounds natural and serves your story. You have complete freedom.

In memoir, you reconstruct dialogue based on your memory of what was said. You’re aiming for the essence of the conversation, the emotional truth, even if you can’t remember the exact words.

You can also compress several conversations into one.

So in memoir, you can reconstruct conversations based on your honest memory. You can capture the tone, the dynamic, the key points that were made. You can use dialogue that represents what was typically said, even if you can’t pinpoint one specific conversation.

[06:21] What If Your Story Spans Years or Decades? 

This is where both memoir and fiction writers often get confused. They think if the story happened over a 20-year span, they need to show all 20 years in chronological order.

You do not have to write the story chronologically. You can, but that doesn’t mean you write everything that happened over that time span. For example, if a 5-minute conversation changed your life, you can give it five pages. But if a year of stability was important but uneventful, you can summarize it in a paragraph.

[08:59] Can I combine real people into one character? Or change names to protect people?

Many memoir writers change names of real people, particularly minor characters, or people who might not want to be in your book, for example, a friend from school. You can note this in the author’s note: Some names and identifying details have been changed.

Composite characters make sense when you’re writing about a time when you encountered many similar people, for example, nurses in a hospital or students in a class. Combining these characters into one representative character makes the story clearer.

[10:24] Truth vs. Emotional Truth

Factual truth is what literally happened – the verifiable facts. Emotional truth is what it felt like –  the meaning and impact of what happened.

Your primary obligation in memoir is to the emotional truth. You’re writing about your subjective experience of events. Nobody owns the truth, so your truth is valid.

[14:57] What Memoir and Fiction Have in Common

Memoir uses all the same storytelling techniques as fiction. Both need a compelling protagonist (you) with clear desires and obstacles, rising stakes, a narrative arc with a beginning, middle and end, compelling scenes, vivid description, emotional resonance, and a satisfying resolution.

[16:54] How do you decide whether to write your story as memoir or fiction?

Write memoir when the truth of what actually happened is important to the story. When you want to share your real experience, not a fictional version of it, and when you’re comfortable being identified as the protagonist.

Write fiction when you want complete creative freedom to change events, combine characters or invent details. When you want distance from the real events, and when you need to protect people’s identities in ways that would require too much changing for memoir. And when you’re uncomfortable with the exposure that comes with memoir.

Both are valid choices. Just be clear about which contract you’re making with your reader.

Links Mentioned In This Episode:

Because I Remember Terror Father, I Remember You by Sue William Silverman

Nail Your Story Idea FREE Quick Guide

👉 If this episode helped you, please share it with another writer who needs encouragement. And don’t forget to subscribe on your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode.

Rate, Review, and Follow on Apple Podcasts.

“I love Writer Unleashed!” If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show. This helps me support more writers — just like you —to bring the story burning in their imagination onto the page.  Click  here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. It’s chock full of writing tips and inspiration every Tuesday. Follow now!